March was actually a very busy month for terrible advertisements. So busy that we had two potential winners: ASB Bank with their terrible King Richard IV ads and Clear Men Scalp Therapy for thinking that men with dandruff are neurotic, naïve, gullible little boys.

ASB get the silver for choosing a Brit to represent their bank. Couldn’t they find a decent Kiwi actor/sportsman/legend instead? I guess it makes sense since they had Dame Judy Dench before Brian Blessed, and prior to that the loveable American, Goldstein.

However Unilver’s ad for their new Clear Men Scalp Therapy is first to cross the line and wins the much-coveted No Prize for March. It’s just awful (and offensive to men) on so many levels that I don’t know where to start. Do Unilever really believe that men think that Dandruff is so bad that they have to portray having this dread hair problem as something devilish, akin to cancer, and that not having dandruff will turn men into  Olympian gods? According to an ad Unilever placed in the latest issue of FMCG Magazine they are going to be spending a “Heavyweight $2 million media investment” promoting the product. I’m glad to see how well it’s working, since their Clear Men NZ Facebook page has 5 likes since August 12, 2012. Hooray! Success at last. Money well spent.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised about how Unilever perceive men since they’re the brains behind the Lynx Deodrant commercials, and we all know that those ads clearly state that Lynx will turn any man into a sexual Tyrannosaur.

As an aside, I recently moved all my banking to ASB. I can assure you it had nothing to do with their ads and everything to do with the people in the bank. Three cheers for the good folk at ASB Botany. Succeed on.